What Can I Know For sure? What Am I An Expert in?


Sitting here now, reflecting, I ‘know’ something for sure, I have complete confidence in the absolute integrity of my own experience. 

That’s really the beginning and ending of all that I offer others through my writing and work…..but I notice something else, which creates enormous power for me….when it comes to my opinions on stuff, doesn’t matter what it is……I am almost certainly wrong….or at best partly wrong….about everything 😃

The liberty knowing this brings is wonderful, holding this way of thinking seems to create space to truly hear others when they disagree with me.

These days I am not really that concerned about what others think about me, I have stuff I want to share that I think some people will find supportive of their life, some won’t be interested etc, but so what, right? 

Some people will copy my content, so what right?

The ‘Truth’, I am an expert on my own experience and no one can express my experience like I can. 

There is a trap in all this, and here it is, when I mistake my experience for anything like the ‘objective truth’ about anything. My experience is only ever ‘just’ my experience. 

A Conversation That Transforms….are you ready for one? https://birthingawareness.com/2017/04/10/a-conversations-that-tramsform-are-you-ready-for-one/

A Conversation That Transforms….are you ready for one? 

As I look back over my life I’m noticing that every major shift, you know, those times in my life when the very foundations of all that I thought I knew just seem to be crumbling away, has been marked by signification conversations.

What do I mean by conversations?

I mean different things to be honest, it might have been reading a book which has fundamentally challenged how I see the world, leading to the world occurring to me in totally different ways, creating new opportunities.
The conversation that the grief after my late wife dying is, has an ongoing effect on my life to this day, 9 years on. Not a day goes by when the way I am being isn’t informed by the fruit of that conversation.
For me the most important conversation is happening on the ‘inside’, it’s the conversation I am in with myself…..sometimes I’m aware of it, sometimes I am not, yet still it’s this conversation that shapes how my life turns up in the world.
Another way of saying it is, I am living inside a story in any given moment.
But one of the key things I have found is that ‘speaking’ that story out in presence of another, having another human being, being a kind of ‘space’ for my talking….has made an enormous difference in my life, and this effect has occurred again and again….

So, today I am choosing to create a future, I’m inventing a future which I am intending to live into……

I want to be in a ‘conversation’ with 10 birth professionals:

This is for you if:

You are building a birth related business and sense that you want to speak out your vision to someone who will listen and offer you coaching around what you say you want in life.

This is for you if:

You feel ready to transform your current experience of life, if you want to invent a future based on new possibilities.

This is for you if:

You want to explore the possibilities regarding the relationships you are in.

This is for you if:

You are feeling that what you have done in the past hasn’t worked and you are ready to take action, action that you have never taken before.

This is for you if:

As you read this you sense that now is the time.

Here is my offer and promises to you:

 

  • A minimum of 10 one to one conversations lasting at least an hour, over whatever period of time works for you.

 

  • A commitment to support you in getting what you say you want.

 

  • A commitment to ‘be’ a ‘space’ for your talking, such that new possibilities become available to you.

 

I am offering this to 10 people.

 

The investment: is £250.

To reserve a place this time round use the email address mark@birthing4blokes.com to pay via PayPal.

Or email to get BAC’s details.

If you would like to chat on the phone before you book call me:
07725894452 or Skype @birthing4blokes
(this opportunity is open to anyone in the world who is working as a birth professional)

People are ‘always’ saying what they mean when they are saying it ?


In many ways the words that everyone uses are specific and mean what they say, given the internal ‘context’ of the person saying them. 

That’s one of the challenges when it comes to human communication. 

A conversation can feel like verbal martial arts at times can’t it?

It’s one of the reasons I find the model of NLP so much fun and have maintained a desire to keep on learning about it for many years. 

The words we use are like ‘icons’ on the desk top, they could be called the ‘surface structure’. 

The words people use are pointing us in the direction of a much deep ‘internal structure’ that the person has. 

This deeper structure, or map of ‘reality’, is the source of our mind and body state in the moment when we speak out the words we are using. 

The words people are using are not right or wrong in any kind of moral sense, but the are creating some kind of effect in those who hear them. 
As we begin to understand how language directs the meaning making search of those who are listening to us, we can offer people directions for that search that might be very useful to them indeed. 

And of course, as we begin to hear our ‘internal conversation’, which tends to trundle along outside of consciousness, our own personal transformation becomes more than just a possibility ☺
If you want to learn the NLP Model and start to apply it to your life and work as a professional birth worker, click the link below. 

A one day workshop for birth workers. Book a place.

A new date for a one day workshop for birth professionals: What is NLP, and why would a professional birth work want to master it?

 

If you have 6 minutes click to see a video of Mark Harris talking about the one day workshop

IMG_0048

This might sound melodramatic but when Diane (my late wife) was diagnosed with cancer for the first time nearly 18 years ago, NLP saved my life, at very least that’s how it feels.
We were home schooling 5 children under 7 years old at the time, and I was working long hours to make enough money for us to live on.
When I heard the news, my mind went into ‘melt down’, horrendous ‘hallucinations’ of future events began to play out in my mind, what I discovered through NLP, enabled me to begin, slowly at first, to take back ‘control’ of my thinking and my life.

What is NLP?

Neuro Linguistic Programming is fundamentally a ‘model of communication’. Discovered my Dr Bandler & Dr Grinder in the early 1970’s.
Neuro, refers to the nervous system: NLP uses the principles and patterns of the nervous system.

Linguistics, points to NLP’s understanding that in some ways language is a product of the nervous system, but NLP goes further in stating that language ‘stimulates’ and ‘shapes’ activity deep within the ‘meaning-making’ patterns of human beings.

Programming refers to NLP’s insight into the process of human learning, memory and creativity as functions of the ‘neuro linguistic programs’ present within every human beings, both conscious patterns and unconscious ones ( borrowed from the work of R Dilts).

Why ‘should’ a birth worker learn NLP?

Because:

You will learn how to develop a deep sense of rapport with anyone, this sense of connection development can become almost instant.

You will discover a greater degree of flexibility in your use of language, using words and ‘language patterns’ that connect to those you are speaking too.

You will find that your ‘message’ will be understood by those you want to receive it with little effort.

You will gain a greater control over your own tendency to think the worst.

You will Increase you ability to set a goal and see it through to the finish.

Your ability to support a woman giving birth will increase.

Your birth teaching will ‘hit the mark’ more often

You will have a foundational understanding of what NLP is (and isn’t).

You will know how to ‘break’ personal, persistent habits once and for all.
You will start to build the skills necessary to support women who have experienced birth as traumatic.

You will have had a personal insights as to the power of NLP to change your experience of life as you live it.

How does becoming skilled in NLP lead to all these benefits and more?

To the outside observer the results that some people, skilled in NLP achieve, look like magic….but beneath the apparent effortless work of the practitioner of NLP, is a deeply held insight into the ‘structure of human experience’. This insight, once it takes hold will lead to all the above effects and more, I know this to be true from my experience over 15 years.

Using the skills and techniques of NLP brings to the birth worker a way of ‘seeing’, ‘hearing’ and even ‘feeling’, the way others are ‘creating’ their unique experience of the world.

This is a foundation, one day program which will kick start your own journey into communication mastery

Date:

Sunday May 21 2017

Times:

9:30 (For 10 am)- 4pm (Coffee and Tea will be provide, do bring food. There are shops near by)

Cost: £39 (This day can be used for CPD. Students of all kinds email me directly if money is an issue mark@birthing4blokes.com). After the workshop is completed, Slides, Reflective writing frame and certificate is available to all participants.

Venue:

Tummy2Mummy Baby Scans & Midwifery Services
27 New Street, Hinckley, Leicestershire, LE10 1QY (for sat nav use LE10 1QZ)

Tummy2Mummy are conveniently located five minutes from
Junction 1 and 2 of the M69 in Hinckley town centre (On Sundays there is lots of free parking near by)

Book Now to secure your place, Click here: THIS IS THE PAYPAL BUTTON

Should you need to cancel having booked a place, a place will be made available to you on a future program at no extra charge 😊

I only have room for 20 people 😔

 

What is NLP, and why would a professional birth work want to master it?

img_4810

This might sound melodramatic but when Diane (my late wife) was diagnosed with cancer for the first time nearly 18 years ago, NLP saved my life, at very least that’s how it feels.

We were home schooling 5 children under 7 years old at the time, and I was working long hours to make enough money for us to live on.

When I heard the news, my mind went into ‘melt down’, horrendous ‘hallucinations’ of future events began to play out in my mind, what I discovered through NLP, enabled me to begin, slowly at first, to take back ‘control’ of my thinking and my life.

What is NLP?

Neuro Linguistic Programming is fundamentally a ‘model of communication’. Discovered my Dr Bandler & Dr Grinder in the early 1970’s.

Neuro, refers to the nervous system: NLP uses the principles and patterns of the nervous system.

Linguistics, points to NLP’s understanding that in some ways language is a product of the nervous system, but NLP goes further in stating that language ‘stimulates’ and ‘shapes’ activity deep within the ‘meaning-making’ patterns of human beings.

Programming refers to NLP’s insight into the process of human learning, memory and creativity as functions of the ‘neuro linguistic programs’ present within every human beings, both conscious patterns and unconscious ones ( borrowed from the work of R Dilts).

Why ‘should’ a birth worker learn NLP?

Because:

You will learn how to develop a deep sense of rapport with anyone, this sense of connection development can become almost instant.

You will discover a greater degree of flexibility in your use of language, using words and ‘language patterns’ that connect to those you are speaking too.

You will find that your ‘message’ will be understood by those you want to receive it with little effort.

You will gain a greater control over your own tendency to think the worst.

You will Increase you ability to set a goal and see it through to the finish.

Your ability to support a woman giving birth will increase.

Your birth teaching will ‘hit the mark’ more often

You will have a foundational understanding of what NLP is (and isn’t).

You will know how to ‘break’ personal, persistent habits once and for all.

You will start to build the skills necessary to support women who have experienced birth as traumatic.

You will have had a personal insights as to the power of NLP to change your experience of life as you live it.

How does becoming skilled in NLP lead to all these benefits and more?

To the outside observer the results that some people, skilled in NLP achieve, look like magic….but beneath the apparent effortless work of the practitioner of NLP, is a deeply held insight into the ‘structure of human experience’.

Using the skills and techniques of NLP brings to the birth worker a way of ‘seeing’, ‘hearing’ and even ‘feeling’, the way others are ‘creating’ their unique experience of the world.

This is a foundation program which will kick start your own journey into communication mastery…..it’s a video based online program, when you buy it you will get:

2 videos explaining the fundamentals of NLP
1 video recording of a Live Webinar where some basic NLP strategies are presented and tested.
11 video’s explaining the NLP presuppositions (principles)
A 200 plus page introduction to NLP book.
An Exercise book that comes with the handbook.
One hour (unedited) audio recording of an interview between Mark and Chris Evans.

….and you will have gained all this for £27 (not the £1000 it can cost to do other foundation courses in the wider NLP community)

Here how to get the online program

 

 

 

What do I say I want but don’t have? 

This is a question that I ask myself regularly. 

The answers I give are useful to me because they often uncover areas of dissatisfaction in my life that I am settling for. Kind of living with, like they are the ‘truth’. 

In settling for, and living under the dissatisfaction, I have submitted to being at the ‘effect’ of the circumstances, my feelings etc. 

Life is not going to turn out how it ‘should’, it turns out how it does, and this is it, right now. 

It will be ‘completed’ in no other place…….’my life will be better when, (add anything you like, when I lose weight, have more money etc)…..has often been an unspoken refrain in my less than conscious inner dialogue. 

What’s the truth? 

When I die I will be no less or more satisfied than I am right now. 

The question above helps me to see when I am living my life in the context of being a complaint about life itself, there is no power for living in this place. 

Some one once said, ‘you either have the life you want, or the reasons why you don’t have it’. 

Living like the reasons are ‘true’ works like a justification for the dissatisfaction you are experiencing. 

Spend some time with the question, and see what you uncover.

The Post Man Always Knocks Twice….

He did today anyway, and very loudly thankfully because I was catching up on ‘The Walking Dead’ series, and would have missed him if he didn’t.

We had a polite exchange and then he ‘gave birth to my parcel’. What an amazing experience that was, from deep inside, his power to ‘birth parcels’ was expressed in such a way that I was moved to tears.

How ridiculous I hear you cry, and I know you know where I am going with this, right?

My postman ‘delivered’ my parcel, he had the power to do that, he is trained to do that, and he does it very well thank you.

The debate about birth workers using the word ‘birth’ instead of ‘delivery’ or even ‘catch‘, will inevitably rage on, but the importance of the language we use must never be lost from  view.
Language shapes our personal experience of the world and therefore creates our shared cultural hallucinations.

Our heritage as the human animal has been enormously influenced by our ability to imagine things that have no physical reality and experience them collectively as if they do.

In short, language shapes  and creates culture, I often hear people speak about the current birth culture in the Uk as if it existed separate from them. In truth, if the birth culture in the UK is going to be transformed the words I use matter.

This all may sound to some like ‘political correctness’ gone mad and just the rantings of another birth world extremist, but I ask you to stop and think about my postman giving birth to my parcel,ridiculous, right?

Women Give Birth

 

let’s point in the direction of true birthing power by using language that makes it very clear in our collective experience where the power lies.

To learn more about my work with mail birthing partners (pun intended) go to: www.birthing4blokes.com