Men Only…..Birth preparation for men?

Birth preparation for men:

I know there is at least one company providing education and birth preparation classes for men (I heard a maternity hospital in Peterbrough employ them to provide it), and until now I was undecided of the benefits of doing so.

I remember mentioning the idea on Facebook once and one of my midwife friends felt very strongly that there was no need for it, and that any focus on a man in this context was time wasted. The time, she felt, wound be better invested in being with woman!

She makes a good point for sure, particularly when midwives in hospital are hard pressed to ‘find’ the time to be intensely focused on a woman’s needs, and are rather being pulled towards satisfying the ‘quirky’ requirements of the NSST audit.

Even still I am going to run some ‘experimental’ classes for men whose partners are expecting a baby, the more I think about it there is something unique that I can offer these men.

Twenty years (on and off) of birth experience as a registered midwife, five of my own children and 4 grand children, to be sure, my contraceptive advise is probably best ignored, but I have developed some understandings that may be useful for a first time, or even second time round father to be.

I have found over the years that an understanding of how evolutionary forces have shaped our responses to the birthing process as human beings, is often all we really need to facilitate the brilliance that lies inside ourselves, a brilliance that has been tried and tested over 200,000 years or so.

What am I going to do?

I have done it, I’ve done what I have been saying I wanted to do for years, probably way before Diane died. I have left my regular paying job in the NHS and started to work for myself; there’s no money coming in automatically now unless I create it.

Im feeling Kind of mixed about it,afraid of not being being able to pay direct debits but amazingly liberated from that horrible feeling of not wanting to go to work, of dreading working with others who seem so overwhelmingly bland, and hamstrung by the way they have always thought!

Don’t get me wrong the ‘caring types’ I have worked with over the years have all, in the main, meant well, it’s just the demands of the organisation and the shear volume of people they need to see have worn them down.

What I am doing now that all I do is COMPLETELY down to choice? Of course I’ve always had a choice, it’s just never really felt like it. When the children started to arrive I always felt that I had to work, and that leaving a job with nothing else to do was just not the thing you do.

What am I now doing to do?

I’m going to work with people who want support and education leading up to the birth of their baby.

I’m going to work with people who want to be free from phobias, who would like more choice regarding habits, and those who would like to feel more happiness in their lives.

I am going to work with those who are having some trouble seeing a way head after a bereavement.

I’m going to run two day workshops (hate the word workshop, but can’t think of another word) aimed at supporting woman staying out of hospital until they have to go in (hospitals are busy and home is probably best until you feel you have to go).

I’m going to offer one to one antenatal care and post natal care, so that if women want they can take their time asking all the questions they want to ask without having a midwife looking at her watch because she is in a hurry.

I’m going to work as self employed sample collector, collecting DNA, alcohol and drug samples for social service departments and family law lawyers.

I’m going to blog regularly about birth related research.

I’m going to creat information products aimed at people preparing for birth or breast feeding their baby.

I’m going to run evening programmes for men about to become fathers.

I’m going to produce 5 minutes of stand up comedy set and make my debut as a comedian, aiming my stuff at issues around birth.