‘How can I support a man who has been traumatised by his partners first birth and is panicked about her second’?
The beginnings of an answer:
Listening, with nothing on your mind to his birth story is an act of love that he will probably have not experienced. So as a starting place offer him that. He will have questions about how things went last time, give him time to ask them, listening for his sense of failure at not being able to keep her safe. When you feel he has talked him self out, answer his questions….these are good places to start….