Feed Back From A Kind Doula

Some very kind feed following an event that @birthing4blokes spoke at.

Hi Mark,

Now I’ve slept and had time to reflect on yesterday I still stand by what I said…

In my book you could have started off the day at 9am and then gone right through to home time and I wouldn’t have missed anything I’d have preferred.

Your words are the most valuable gift I’ve brought away with me from the day and in just that short time you had I know I will change the way I teach Hypnobirthing and change the way I doula my clients.

Imagine how much I can improve after a whole day with you!! I’m really excited looking forward to that. You are a gift to the birthing woman! 🙂


Each Child A Genius

My 5 year old son, ‘if you laugh at school you lose a tick’. Lose enough ticks and no ‘golden time’ for you.

Very good system for producing good, compliant workers. Not so great for nurturing fragile genius.

Young children have giant organic intelligence.

Teachers have been cut to size to make them fit.

Linking learning with school is a massive mistake.


She Is To Be Worshipped

She is beautiful and strong
She is sensual and unafraid of being naked
She has excellent balance because she is rooted to the Earth
She is dancing because her swollen body wants to move
Her belly is like the full moon and the tides move within her
She smiles because she knows a secret. The secret.
She is a goodess – she can choose whether to bring life or send it away
Her heart is full and swells with blood
Her breasts swell with milk and nectar
Her belly swells with life
She is tender like a deer and ferocious like a tiger
She is radiant and people smile as she passes
She shares her body with her child as Mother Earth shares hers with all of her children
Magick is happening in her and to her and with her

Written by Chandala Tso Shiva
January 11, 2008


Love and life and struggle and joy

A lovely read…

Moonbeam McSwine

Mr Mac and I enjoy a wild night out, (alcohol sneaked in my bag…it is the end of the month and no money) and suffer the following day, awoken by grandbabies…no quarter given!

When they go home to their Sunday bath and tea, we catch Tesco’s last hour, the holy building radiating glitter like a mirage in negative, reflecting in dark puddles of oily rain.  We can afford two carrier bags worth, and honestly, I’m the richest woman on earth tonight.

The Friday before this wild weekend I sat in the drop-in clinic with a mother and her three day old baby boy…their passage had been rough.  He hadn’t yet got his head around taking the nipple and suckling.  They were skin-to-skin.  The midwife spoke to the baby boy, using his name, her hand above his head, circling the air, stroking him, but not touching his body. She acknowledged his…

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Some One I Knew Died

Some one I knew died, I knew them well. Their last breath was peaceful, they lay still, life gone.

I looked outside, rain on the window, people rushing to catch buses, faces showing the strain of important appointments missed.

Mothers ‘dragging’ small children to school while updating Facebook.

I looked back where she lay…nothing to do.


Midwife, Stop Taking Credit When A Woman Doesn’t Tear

Some midwives still take credit for ‘intact perineum’s’, Stop it. Not tearing while birthing is not a mark of any kind of success, it will happen or it won’t happen, there may be things a woman can do reduce it’s likelihood. Being upright while birthing, not doing any kind of ‘controlled pushing’, pre massage with oil etc

It raises the idea that some midwives and most doctors have, that putting pressure on the head of the baby as it crowns, and in some why ‘controlling’ a woman’s pushing can reduce the amount of perineal trauma a woman experiences.

The variables in any study are compounded, and the design of any such study has at it’s core medical presuppositions.


An Activity For Teaching About Oxytocin

We spend a lot of time @birthing4blokes teaching men about oxytocin, the way women have evolved to secret this amazing birth hormone and what environments are best to ‘fan the flame’ of oxytocin in her body while she is giving birth.

When we have finished giving men the information culminating with the Odent quote, ‘female orgasm and birth are one event separated by birth’, we do an activity in small groups.

It’s a card game, on one card is printed a flame and on another is a bucket of water. The statements and situations below are printed on individual cards.

The goal of the game is to put the cards in the appropriate category.

Does this action ‘fan the flame’ or ‘pour cold water’ on the flow of oxytocin?

We have found that combined with teaching and discussion this activity helps to consolidated the knowledge for fathers to be.

It seems to serve as a catalyst for even more ideas of how he can be a servant of oxytocin as his lover gives birth.

Listed below are some of the phrases printed on our ‘fan the flame or kick the bucket cards’, hope you find the activity useful.

At home in the early stages of the birthing process.

Using the bath and relaxing.

Getting in the car in order to go to the hospital.

At hospital with people coming in and out of the room.

Being asked what you think of syntometrine or vitamin K?

Listening to a playlist of music that you’ve used at home beforehand.

Being given a full explanation of what’s happening.

The lights in the birth room on bright.

The lights in the birth room down dim.

Feeling very cold.

Feeling warm.

Being massaged gently.

Wearing clothes that you feel very comfortable in.

Wearing a hospital wearing gown.

Meeting people you have never met before.

Smelling strange smells.

Having a vagina examination.

Being able to move in whatever position you want to move.

@Birthing4Blokes: A link to PDF masters for card game. Fan the flame game cards. Hope they are useful. https://t.co/dUxjHT9Vwd