17 Words and Phrases I’ve Heard Midwives Say That Need SCRAPPING..

17 Words and Phrases I’ve Heard Midwives Say That Need SCRAPPING…if your a midwife and you use any of them…STOP!

Number 1: ‘MY ‘ladies’.

Number 2: ‘you might ‘be ALLOWED’ to have a home birth’…insert anything in for home birth. The language of permission is missing the point.

Number 3: ‘I just catch babies’! Aghhh at most midwives offer support based on reflected upon experience.

Number 4: ‘if you don’t push better than this I’m going to get the doctors’.

Number 5: Stop any references to ‘stages’ of ‘labour’ that suggests that they actually exist! Remember, we MADE them UP! Useful guide? Maybe? Maybe not.

Number 6: ‘They’ are not all the SAME, your experience is useful BUT not absolute, always ‘bow the knee’ to a woman’s sublime uniqueness.

Number 7: Any use of the words ‘they’ or ‘them’ when speaking about pregnant women.

Number 8: ‘pethidine will work well for you.

Number 9: ‘you must get on the bed for me to examine you’.

Number 10: ‘it’s too late for an epidural’.

Number 11: ‘we are going to let you epidural wear of so you can feel when to push’. NO NO NO!

Number 12: ‘if we put your legs into lithotomy you will be able to push better’.

Number 13: ‘If you think this is painful (a comment on so called latent phase of labour), just wait until ‘labour’ starts.

Number 14: ‘it’s too early for gas an air’.

Number 15: with fingers in the woman’s Vagina: ‘RELAX’!

Number 16: ‘just pop on the bed, I’m going to examine you ‘down there’.

Number 17: ‘chin on your chest, hold your breath and with the next contraction…PUUUUUUSH’! This should STOP now.

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