We are always communicating, our unconscious mind is responsible for much of what we ‘say’ to others. Objective informed choice is a myth.
Well meaning birth professionals do their best to be unbiased and applauded they should be.
An understanding that communication happens at different levels will only enhance birth professionals information giving practice.
Once I understand the principle of multi level communication I can introduce safe guards against inappropriate influence of pregnant women.
Have you ever met someone for the first time, and for reasons you can’t put your finger on you get a sense that you don’t like them?
You have just experienced a multi level communication.
Your unconscious mind has just done a rapid search of every person you have ever met and decided to give you a signal in consciousness (that feeling) to be careful.
Of course at times the signal turns out to be pointing in the wrong direction and this new ‘friend’ is nothing like the composite ones you were being warned about.
Birth professionals be warned, we are communicating all the time, our body, tones of force and even the way we structure our sentences are all offering a pregnant woman’s meaning making a direction to head in.
I got your book in the post this morning and have just spent a couple of hours reading it cover to cover. Loved it!
It might not be such a quick read for others but as an NCT antenatal teacher with 10 years’ experience, it is all very familiar to me. The Q&A section covered questions which I regularly deal with in class. I always have a part of the course where the men go off and explore and pelvis, and talk, and the women look at anatomy charts and talk. I set both groups going and then spend time talking to each group in turn and the men come up with exactly these questions and concerns. I love the straightforward language you use too.
I am going to find a way to introduce the book into the class so they have chance to glance through it.
I may write more to you later but I now have some other things to get on with. I was just so enthused I wanted to let you know ASAP.
All the best
Thank you Becks Harper.
‘Finished it…WOW!!!! I have learnt stuff, put stuff into action, told people to buy it…!! Laughed and cried some more… I am no good at “deep” reviews cos I struggle to put feelings into words. Men, Love and Birth surely brought about a lot of feelings’.
@beakyqueen: READ IT…just do!! Even if not a dad or are not having a baby! Involved in birth/new mums? Read it. @Birthing4Blokes http://t.co/kCRC7aWHkU
I am now getting very excited about the book being published in the UK and later in the USA😊
As I’ve read it again in recent days any fears that I had that it didn’t reflect complete what I wanted to say about men being present for birth have been dispelled, phew 😅
I hope you enjoy it and find it useful.
Please feel free to speak to me about it, here’s a link to book a time to suit you:
Five Benefits of men being prepared to be with their lovers as they give birth.
1 Insight into how human beings have evolved to give birth well, increases confidence, gives direction to the support they can offer her, and enhance their ability to be resilient if the birth does not go as expected.
2 Being prepared, increases his ability to proactively create the deep connection need, that will massively facilitate her production of the birthing process dynamite oxytocin.
3 Having an experience of building this type of connection with his lover before she gives birth, will produce a deepening in his relationship with her, leading to a strong foundation being built for the emerging family .
4 Preparing via regular massaging, TEN s machine use, and understanding the (so called) ‘latent phase’ of the birthing process, will increase the amount of time they spend out of the hospital and may reduce the length of her birth experience.
5 Understanding the importance of having the ‘goal’ of connecting with her while she births, will produce testosterone in him, reducing his stress response. Having connection with her as a goal will to his ‘fixing’ habits being focused on that outcome and will reduce any panicked response to Enviromental changes.