Preparation for her giving birth begins before the big day it seldom takes us by surprise these days does it? You’ve probably got at least 8 months. So, take some action, get yourself ready, here are six steps you can begin to take starting today.
Before I give you the list its important that you understand something about a hormone which you share with her, oxytocin, oxytocin has enormous importance for women, not just in pregnancy but in life generally, it influence’s the general level of the connection she feels towards you and others, and is pivotal in the management of her experience of stress in day to day life.
1. Touch her, often, for most women affectionate touch will have an affect on her feelings of well-being. Sounds cheesy? You don’t have to believe it; you can test it out in your own experience.
At the first opportunity in the mornings hug her, before you leave for work, hug her, when you see her again in the evening, hug her. Don’t make a big deal of it, don’t announce it, just do it. See what happens.
2. On a similar theme, this will take a little more planning, from now on offer her a massage twice a week, as she gets bigger through the pregnancy, keep doing it (there is an appendix in the back of my book, a kind of how to do it).
If you are lucky she may get aroused as you touch her, if she gets to climax, great, cumin is good for her and the growing baby. Her release into orgasm is the key here, not yours, so don’t finish yourself on her breast, this is about her, let her know you are there for her, and her only.
3. Most women get to manage their anxiety in the context of talking through what’s on their minds, they are not looking for ‘fixes’, their brain is being bathed in oxytocin as they speak, your job is simple really, and never changes, listen until she has finished.
As you learn this skill she will get a sense of you being there, just for her. To be frank, this connection that you will experience as a result of listening, is your main priority as she gives birth. The only thing that needs fixing when you get to the ‘birth room’ is this amazing feeling of connection.
4. Pick a job around the house that needs doing, do it without being asked and without looking for praise, you know it needs doing more than once right?
Keep getting involved in these kinds of household jobs. If you are like this already, great, do more.
5. Most men have an area of their lives that they often whinge about, it might be weight loss, they hate their job, they want to stop smoking etc etc, pick one, one that you have spoken to her about, you might have told her how hard it is etc.
When you’ve got one in mind, take massive ACTION in that area, don’t tell you are doing it, just do it, don’t look for her praise.
6. This last one is weird and I’ll be surprised if you can see the benefit of doing it as you read this, suspend your judgement until you have given it a go.
All communication is a multi levelled ‘transaction’ between human beings, the words we use are just the ‘tip of the ice-burge’, most of it is happening at deeply unconscious levels, well outside conscious mind control.
Here we go, this is the experiment, while you are sitting together one evening, notice the rate at which she is breathing (told you, weird, it takes some practice, you’ll get if you keep at it).
When you can see it clearly, start to breath at the same rate. You’ll have to take my word for it until you have your own experience, but outside of her awareness she will begin to sense a deep connection with you, she will not know why.
Well, that’s me done, I hope you get some use out of these ‘tips’, remember this, her knowing in her experience that you are WITH her, connected and Present is a fundamental key to the birthing process going well….you want to fix something while she is giving birth? FIX THAT.