There nothing in my experience as a human being like the one I have when I’ve ‘laid bear’ where I am ‘at’ as a person.
A man who wants to love others, while giving his ‘gift’ back.
That’s sounds so ‘lame’ as I read it back😔. It’s not even getting close to saying what I want you ‘get’ from me as I write.
So much of my insecurities around sharing stuff are wrapped up in my own ‘internal/embedded’ stories of not being personally ‘good enough’ for public ‘consumption’……..
When mixed with the ‘human primate’ tendency to panic about survival, the forces at play in my life make writing, speaking, leading workshops etc a massively courageous act, flying in the face of powerful ‘evolutionary forces’.
Often I write about wanting the feedback of others, and saying very clearly that the ‘not so positive’ kind is the best kind.
But I’m a liar😔
The sense of being ‘laid bear’ to the world as I publish stuff feels like waking up in a dream world totally naked.
When I read reviews that criticise my work it cuts like a knife, and a viscerally personal response is hard not to get lost in.
But tears come as the hormone generated waves of emotion begin to settle and I begin to ‘see’ what is being said, I catch a glimpse of where (I guess)!the human being who wrote it is coming from.
A type of learning available no where else becomes possible……and again I realise that the not so ‘positive feedback’ is the gold I crave.
Retreat into silence will never become an option for me, simply because :
Creative Expresion Equals Life Being Lived……the alternative? ‘Living Like……
The walking dead’……
‘Transforming birth experiences, through teaching men to be truly present’