I’m Crying Today……Creative Expresion Equals Life Being Lived……the alternative? ‘Living Like The walking dead’……

There nothing in my experience  as a human being  like the one I have when I’ve ‘laid bear’ where I am ‘at’ as a person.

 A man who wants to love others, while giving  his ‘gift’ back. 

That’s sounds so ‘lame’ as I read it back😔. It’s not even getting close to saying what I want you ‘get’ from me as I write. 

So much of my insecurities around sharing stuff are wrapped up in my own ‘internal/embedded’ stories of not being personally  ‘good enough’ for public ‘consumption’……..

When mixed with the ‘human primate’ tendency to panic about survival, the forces at play in my life make writing, speaking, leading workshops etc a massively  courageous   act, flying  in the face of powerful ‘evolutionary forces’. 

Often I write about wanting the feedback of others, and saying very clearly that the ‘not so positive’ kind is the best kind.

  But I’m a liar😔

The sense of being ‘laid bear’ to the world as I publish stuff feels like waking up in a dream world totally naked. 

When I read reviews that criticise my work it cuts like a knife, and a viscerally personal response is hard not to get lost in.  

But tears come as the hormone generated waves of emotion begin to settle and I begin to ‘see’ what is being said,  I catch a glimpse of where (I guess)!the human being who wrote it is coming from. 

A type of learning available no where else becomes possible……and again I realise that  the not so ‘positive feedback’ is the gold I crave. 

Retreat into silence will never become an option for me, simply because : 

Creative Expresion Equals Life Being Lived……the alternative? ‘Living Like……

The walking dead’……

‘Transforming birth experiences, through teaching men to be truly present’
http://www.birthing4blokes.com

6 thoughts on “I’m Crying Today……Creative Expresion Equals Life Being Lived……the alternative? ‘Living Like The walking dead’……

  1. Hope you’re ok Mark. It’s very very easy to criticise and not at all easy to put stuff out there. The praise and credibility belongs to the man or woman in the arena.

    Had a great conversation this week about your book with an SHO and a Canadian OBYGYN or whatever they call it over there, on a cycling tour, and they both said they wanted to buy your book so I gave them the link.
    You’re a sought after author 🙂

  2. Dear Mark,
    You are loved. I enjoy your writing very much.
    Thank-you.

  3. It’s inspiring to read about your vulnerability and your open mind and this: “not so ‘positive feedback’ is the gold I crave.” you are brilliant, keep it up.

  4. Reblogged this on Really Useful Massage and commented:
    Mark Harris, Birthing For Blokes you are brilliant. It’s inspiring to read about your vulnerability and your open mind and this: “not so ‘positive feedback’ is the gold I crave.”

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