‘What Would Trez Do’? 

When it comes to doing domestic stuff around the house, I have a ‘mantra’, ‘what would Trez do’? 

It’s not that her ways is the right way, or even the best way, it’s ‘just’ her way.

When I do it her way, she ‘feels’ better. 

Of course listening to her talk about why she does it that way (until she has finished), and then offering suggestions about different ways happens too.

Do You Love Money Or Hate It With Passion? Financial Confessions Of A Birthworker…..

My ‘relationship’ with and to money began to transform when I had these insights…….

Birthing Awareness

I realised recently if I treated my loved ones like I treated ‘money’, they wouldn’t want to be around me😔.

If I imagine for a moment that ‘money’ was a person, I have said ‘I hate you’, ‘you make me do things I don’t want too’, ‘you control my life’, you are dirty and do bad things’, ‘secretly I want you and I’m ashamed’, ‘I’ll do this or that, but it’s not for your sake’, these are some of the ways I’ve behaved towards ‘money’.

What if I loved ‘money’ like a friend? How would ‘money’ like to be treated? What ways of behaving encourage it to spend time with me? What does it like? Etc etc, you get the idea right?

Then I thought, when ‘money’ likes to be around me, when I truly ‘love money’, what could we do together? What experiences could we create to benefit ourselves…

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A Revolution Of Words: Shaping Birth Culture.

Birthing Awareness

We can and should be shaping birth culture with our words and phrases. Purposeful evolution no less.

Where to start with our ‘revolution of words’? Look at any phrases that even suggest that SHE has to do what we say.

Next notice words and phrases or even just ‘tones of voice’ that suggest that we know best.

Watching our words and phrases as midwives has to be a conscious practice.

Our world of experiences is created through the language we use to speak to ourselves. The easiest person to fool is us.

The way we talk is generated through an unconscious process, awareness is needed if we are to be leaders in creating a new birthing culture, one that pregnant women can express their innate birthing brilliance with in freely.


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The Last Word: an extract from Men, Love & Birth 

We’ve come a long way together. You now have plenty of information that you can use in the next few months, and, indeed, in the days, weeks, months and years to come.

I have written this book to inspire action. Just reading it will not change or transform anything: what matters now is the action you take. 

You might start with actions that don’t involve any physical exertion at all: sitting, listening while she talks and watching as she makes what may seem like disparate connections in her mind. 

When you invest yourself in creating a deep connection with her, your life together will begin to transform. 

You are building the foundation that will support you into heroic fatherhood.

Your mission should by now be very clear: do all you can to stimulate oxytocin release in her. 

This would be a good goal even if she wasn’t pregnant; when she is swimming in oxytocin her stress levels are reduced, she is more likely to be content, creatively engaged with life and to radiate beauty. 

The side effect of all this is that you are more likely to get laid – result!

When it comes to giving birth, oxytocin is crucially important, as we have discussed at some length. It keeps birth buzzing along, and as she connects to you, a bubble of safety is created. 

All of the actions we have spoken about will begin to bear fruit: your joint slow dance play list, the multiple weekly massages… your understanding of all that’s going on around you and the work you have done together will be all the preparation you need to be fully present with her as her body works to birth your baby. 

These are exciting times indeed.
One cautionary reminder about the birth environment. 

If you have chosen a hospital birth, you may not be offered much help to maintain the atmosphere of connection and love. 

You will have to step up into connection warrior mode: resist the impulse to ‘fix’ the environment if this will distract you or disconnect you from her. 

You’ll know if this is happening – take a deep breath (You have been practising, right?), regroup and focus your energies on her.

I remember hearing one of those American self-help gurus say – shout really – that he was ‘IT’ today. 

He had just told the story of his morning routine, and he said that when he sat on the edge of his bed, coming out from his rump was a thick electric cable with a plug on it.

Intrigued? I was too (though I’m pretty sure it was a metaphor). He went on, ‘I stand up, breathe deeply, then plug myself in.’ 

At this point he started to shake vigorously as the electric shock stimulated his whole mind and body. 

He started shouting… ‘I AM IT today, I am IT today, there is no one else today, I am all there is.’ 

At first, like me, you could be excused for thinking that this was the narcissistic ranting of a mad man. 

But then I thought about it. How do I experience the world? 

It dawned on me that the world I experience is received through my data-receiving instruments, my senses. 

I receive the data and then make meaning out of it. In fact, I AM IT today. 

My perceptions of all that is going on around me are completely my OWN. 

Even when ‘things’ happen to me, ultimately I get to decide what they mean, to me and for me.

We’ve reached the end of our time together, and now, as always, YOU ARE IT. 

Take action, use all the resources the book points you to, get in touch with me if and when you need to. 

Do something today, now, that will help you move towards the life-enhancing goal of forging a deep, loving and beautiful connection to your lover.
Take action now visit www.birthing4blokes.com

Last chance to join a group of early adopters/investors for a Bata launch on the 12 July ☺️