The Last Word: an extract from Men, Love & Birth 

We’ve come a long way together. You now have plenty of information that you can use in the next few months, and, indeed, in the days, weeks, months and years to come.

I have written this book to inspire action. Just reading it will not change or transform anything: what matters now is the action you take. 

You might start with actions that don’t involve any physical exertion at all: sitting, listening while she talks and watching as she makes what may seem like disparate connections in her mind. 

When you invest yourself in creating a deep connection with her, your life together will begin to transform. 

You are building the foundation that will support you into heroic fatherhood.

Your mission should by now be very clear: do all you can to stimulate oxytocin release in her. 

This would be a good goal even if she wasn’t pregnant; when she is swimming in oxytocin her stress levels are reduced, she is more likely to be content, creatively engaged with life and to radiate beauty. 

The side effect of all this is that you are more likely to get laid – result!

When it comes to giving birth, oxytocin is crucially important, as we have discussed at some length. It keeps birth buzzing along, and as she connects to you, a bubble of safety is created. 

All of the actions we have spoken about will begin to bear fruit: your joint slow dance play list, the multiple weekly massages… your understanding of all that’s going on around you and the work you have done together will be all the preparation you need to be fully present with her as her body works to birth your baby. 

These are exciting times indeed.
One cautionary reminder about the birth environment. 

If you have chosen a hospital birth, you may not be offered much help to maintain the atmosphere of connection and love. 

You will have to step up into connection warrior mode: resist the impulse to ‘fix’ the environment if this will distract you or disconnect you from her. 

You’ll know if this is happening – take a deep breath (You have been practising, right?), regroup and focus your energies on her.

I remember hearing one of those American self-help gurus say – shout really – that he was ‘IT’ today. 

He had just told the story of his morning routine, and he said that when he sat on the edge of his bed, coming out from his rump was a thick electric cable with a plug on it.

Intrigued? I was too (though I’m pretty sure it was a metaphor). He went on, ‘I stand up, breathe deeply, then plug myself in.’ 

At this point he started to shake vigorously as the electric shock stimulated his whole mind and body. 

He started shouting… ‘I AM IT today, I am IT today, there is no one else today, I am all there is.’ 

At first, like me, you could be excused for thinking that this was the narcissistic ranting of a mad man. 

But then I thought about it. How do I experience the world? 

It dawned on me that the world I experience is received through my data-receiving instruments, my senses. 

I receive the data and then make meaning out of it. In fact, I AM IT today. 

My perceptions of all that is going on around me are completely my OWN. 

Even when ‘things’ happen to me, ultimately I get to decide what they mean, to me and for me.

We’ve reached the end of our time together, and now, as always, YOU ARE IT. 

Take action, use all the resources the book points you to, get in touch with me if and when you need to. 

Do something today, now, that will help you move towards the life-enhancing goal of forging a deep, loving and beautiful connection to your lover.
Take action now visit

Last chance to join a group of early adopters/investors for a Bata launch on the 12 July ☺️

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