Birth Trauma and Men: ‘I can’t get over this, I will never be the same again’! 

A distressed man on the phone, it had been for him a very difficult experience indeed. 

The story he was living in after watching her giving birth had been effecting his sleep, his relationship with the woman he loves and his work. 

After some time telling his story, he sobbed:

 ‘I can’t get over this, I will never be the same again’! 

Then a pause on the line, a sense of what he had said being the final word. 

Two questions came next: 

‘What would happen in your life if you could ‘get over this’? 


‘What has stopped you ‘getting over this’ until now’? 

No ‘content’ was being offered, the questions just offer him a direction for his meaning/map making search. 

His own deletions, distortions and generalisations, in the answering of the questions, now have the potential to be uncovered and his experience of life expanded. 

As yourself:

 ‘What directions are the questions pointing in’?

‘Do the questions imply any kind of advice or content’? 

‘What has to be assumed by the one answering them’?

Then, having reflected upon those things, take a moment to think about the story you are living in right now.

Begin to get a sense of where in your own life there exists for you a ‘can’t’ or shouldn’t.

Ask yourself the two questions and write down your answers. 

That’s the power of the ‘meta model’ of NLP and it’s only the smallest introduction. Is a six module on line program that prepares men to be truly present as the woman they love gives birth.  

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